My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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Are you a human?

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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a black father

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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A man walks into a bar. He recieves a concussion and dies of internal bleeding 3 hours later.

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dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Q: Why don't gingers have souls? A:Ginger is a root that consumed whole as a delicacy, medicine, or spice. Why would it have a soul?

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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Will you marry me?

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imadewords

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Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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