Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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test

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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