Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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Dani barton= lovely

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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black people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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