What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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What did the clock say? The time.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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