What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops