Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

Ham sandwich

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

Alex Eggbert

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

weiner? balls

Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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