What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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black people

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

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Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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What's red and has wheels a red car....

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What did the girl with no hands get? Gloves.

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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