A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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womens rights to vote

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Women Voting

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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