What's a small person? A midget

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

Two women were sitting quietly.

what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

12

What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

Why did the child step on a ball?

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

Where's my tractor?

Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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