What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

¿melano?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +2

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down

http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

thumb_up thumb_down

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down

Dancing Potatoe!

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops