Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

It smells like triangles in here.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

God bless America, and no where else.

What's easier to get than a broke hooker on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

what happened to the drug addict? he go high

Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

black people

Jacob Edwards has friends.

when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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