Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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42

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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What is next?

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Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops