Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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haha, you're an orphan

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Sorry boss

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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What's dead? Your mum.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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