What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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