Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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wnba

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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Can I touch it?

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Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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an amosh person used an electrical appliance

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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