How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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The Economy

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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The penn state football administration

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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