a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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2

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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Obamacare haters

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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