Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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haha, you're an orphan

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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