In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Obama

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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