What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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Knock Knock Come in

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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69

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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