A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

thumb_up thumb_down +22

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops