A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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whats brown? poop.

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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how did the little girl die cancer

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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