What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the clock say? The time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

No it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops