What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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Obama

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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Hey

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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