What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

9/11

Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

Garry Glitters on here

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

Betty Whites ALIVE?

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

2 women were sitting quietly

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...