Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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Nothing yet CC

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops