There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

Mr. Burns sex scandal.

hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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