What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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womens rights to vote

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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general tso's broccoli

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops