Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Do you know what they say? Words

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Which one is hardest?

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baby loves lalma

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Sorry boss

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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That didn't hurt.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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