what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

Nice weather we're having.

What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

What's 9+10=? 19

Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

A Frenchman stays and fights

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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