A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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What's the difference from an muslim and a christian blonde Religion

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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Wolf Pussy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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