Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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Your mother

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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Knock Knock Come in

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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