A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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What did the clock say? The time.

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What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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