How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Women's Sports

thumb_up thumb_down +46

want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you say when you take a nasty shit in you friends bathroom? There's some nasty shit in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops