Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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a

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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kiss me?

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops