What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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What happened to the Jew when he heard about the concentration camps being erected all over Germany? Nothing immediately. Then he and his family went into hiding where they were later discovered, taken to concentration camps and died along with millions of other Jews.

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops