What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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