Ass

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops