what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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96

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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A blind man walks into a bar

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What's dead? Your mum.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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That didn't hurt.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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