An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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marshal sterio had sex

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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