A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Yes, finally caught that mouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

thumb_up thumb_down +48

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

That didn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops