Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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my mom raped yerr foot

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Dick spice

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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