How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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why was the baby crying? a rabit took her bottle and ate her frit snacks.

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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how did the little girl die cancer

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Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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fabien

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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