What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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