Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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K

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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Gabe Mercado

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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FAP

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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1 what do gay horses eat? 2 hayyyy 1 no horse dick

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so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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What's worse than death? Not a lot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops