A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Where's my shotgun

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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i eat poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head were on a plane. They never met, and went their separate ways.

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, one swipe, maestrostalfos, imdesiringyourhair, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAAAAAAAAAA know what i mean, paul are you ok?

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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