A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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What is next?

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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My mom.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Turn around.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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