Do you need any assistance?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

no

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-When is a door not a door? -Never

thumb_up thumb_down +8

This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock What

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The 19th Amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops