Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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I have no ideas.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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