My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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Blarg

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Knock knock What

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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cory is gay

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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