How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

asian drivers.

What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

Matty B

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

Womens Rights.

whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

Where's my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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