What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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an amosh person used an electrical appliance

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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like for a handjob.

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Guess what? No.

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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