wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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