What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Enchilada

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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YOLO

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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