whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

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How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

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Sandusky went from Penn State, to the State Penn.

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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a retard lost...

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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who farted your mother

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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