A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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