What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

Does this napkin chloroform?

How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

What's the difference between a computer and a television?

What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...